


Secret Burglar

by octopus_fool



Series: Yuletide Cheer [14]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octopus_fool/pseuds/octopus_fool
Summary: Bilbo despairs about what to get Thorin. It doesn't help that the company is conspiring against him.





	Secret Burglar

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day 8 of [Arda Advent](http://ardaprompts.tumblr.com/post/180626386876/join-me-in-creating-wintery-fanworks-about), the prompt was "Secret Santa".

Bilbo stared at the little piece of paper with a sinking feeling. He had not been looking forward to this anyway and now he had drawn the person he least wanted to get. 

Kíli grinned at him. “Happy with who you got?”

Bilbo smiled back. “Of course.”

Because nothing about this would end up staying “secret” and it would be awkward if Thorin found out that Bilbo wasn’t happy about having drawn him. Not that it wouldn’t be awkward to find the right present for Thorin anyway. Personal, but not too revealing. Bilbo regretted ever agreeing to this.

 

“Do you have any idea what I could get Thorin?” Bilbo asked Bofur.

“A kiss?”

Bilbo rolled his eyes. “Very funny. This is supposed to be secret after all. And I’ve told you before, that is not the way things are.”

“No, the two of you just can’t keep your eyes off each other for entirely platonic reasons, I know. We’ve had this conversation before.”

“Yes. You are seeing things that aren’t there.” It didn’t even sound convincing to Bilbo’s own ears.

 

“Would you mind swapping recipients with me?” Bilbo asked Dwalin. “You know Thorin much better than I do.”

“Sorry, no. Kíli, Bifur and Bofur would kill me after all the work they went through to make sure that you would get Thorin.”

“Wait, what?! They _made sure_ I would get Thorin?! How did they do that?!”

Dwalin shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea. But Thorin will love whatever you get him, at least from the moment he finds out that you gave it to him.”

Bilbo had always been a firm believer in friendship. It seemed all it got him was betrayal. 

 

“Glóin, I need your help.” Glóin was not the most approachable of the dwarves, but Bilbo was desperate. Most of the others seemed to be involved in this conspiracy. “What is the most dwarvish present you can think of? Something most dwarves would be happy to receive.”

Glóin scrutinized Bilbo for a moment. “Dwarvish is not what you’ll want to be getting him. The more hobbitish it is, the more it reminds him of you, the more he will like it.”

Bilbo sighed. There was no help for him, here or anywhere. 

 

Bilbo went for hobbitish, Bilbo went for something that would make Thorin think of him. If all the company knew of his feelings for Thorin anyway, all attempts at keeping them a secret from Thorin would be in vain anyway. 

 

Thorin’s eyes went wide as he opened the first part of the gift. 

“Who got me this?! What did you trade for it?” 

The company craned their necks to see what Thorin was unwrapping. 

“I thought I made it clear that any trade with the elves is unwelcome and needs to be sanctioned by me first.”

The company burst out laughing.

“I don’t believe that was bought or traded,” Balin said, chuckling.

“I believe it may have been _burgled_ ,” Kíli crowed.

Thorin wrinkled his brow for a moment before the stone dropped. He looked at Bilbo questioningly.

Bilbo grinned at him. “From the Elvenking’s private wine cellar, right in the house he always stays in when he visits Dale. Those are the bottles he only has for his private use.”

“I’m sure he will be thrilled to find this missing,” Thorin said, grinning his wry grin at Bilbo.

“I’m certain of it,” Bilbo agreed. 

Thorin opened the second part of the gift. A fragrant scent rose from the box as he opened it.

“Are these made with a recipe from the Shire?” Thorin asked.

Bilbo nodded. “Yes, my grandmother Adamanta’s best meat pie recipe. I hope you like them. They go well with a good red wine.”

“I’m sure of it, they smell delicious,” Thorin said.

He reached for the third part of the gift, the one Bilbo was most nervous about. 

Thorin unfolded the doily carefully. 

“It’s beautiful,” he breathed. 

Those were the most untrue words Bilbo had ever heard. Bilbo had never had much of a talent for the crafts. The doily was crooked and uneven, the crocheting lopsided. A fauntling would have been ashamed for it, but the admiration in Thorin’s voice was real. Bilbo was rather glad that Thorin wasn’t a good liar.

There were some stifled coughs from the company, but Bilbo ignored them.

“I wanted to give you something a bit more permanent than food and drink, even if this isn’t much.”

“It is,” Thorin said, pulling Bilbo into a long embrace. “It is work from your own hands. That is a lot.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Bilbo said, slightly breathless from being so close to Thorin. 

He could hear the company giggling.

“There’s a fourth part to your gift, if you like,” Bilbo whispered so quietly none of the others would be able to hear, his lips briefly brushing Thorin’s ear. “A more private one, away from all these vultures.”

Bilbo could feel Thorin’s breath catch. Then Thorin nodded ever so slightly, a movement so small it would be invisible to the prying eyes surrounding them.

**Author's Note:**

> There are still Arda Advent prompts for which I don't have ideas yet, so if there are any slash or femslash pairings (no incest though, sorry!) or Gen combinations you'd like to see, let me know (either in a comment or a tumblr ask, I'm ridiculoussquid) and I'll try to come up with something! If you've looked at my stories, you'll know that I mostly write for the Hobbit fandom, but I'm trying to do more LotR and Silmarillion stories too, so I'll also take suggestions for those (just no guarantees).


End file.
